The Denim That Finally Made Me Feel Seen

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I tried so hard to conform. Regular, slim-straight, baggy, relaxed, skinny, drop-crotch—if the men's aisle offered it, I tried it. Every shopping trip followed the same pattern: head to the men's section, pick out a 34 or 36, and hope for the best. The thighs? Snug. The waist? Massive. Cue the belt—always the belt. The discomfort went beyond aesthetics. My belt would dig into my skin and pull the hair on my stomach every time I stood. It didn't just feel wrong, it looked wrong. My proportions weren't being honored; they were being squeezed, cinched, and silenced.

For years, I clung to the "right" denim aisle, quietly hoping I'd one day find a cut that worked. Growing up, I always looked to my mom for outfit approval. Her nod meant I was dressed well and presentable, especially for family events. And I wanted to look "right" for them, too.

Celebrity hairstylist Scot Louie knows the power of that shift. "Availability of sizing for starters," he says, on why he first reached for women's jeans. "Also, more exciting and eye-catching styles."

As someone who observes and curates style for others, Louie has watched men's fashion slowly open its borders. "Women's jeans have a lot more variety that I find men's styles are lacking," he notes. "I like the fit and design more—it results in feeling more confident." His take? "It's just fabric, and fabric has no gender."

Stixx Mathews , a beauty expert, never saw a line between the men's and women's sections. "My mom and I have always been the same size," he says. "Naturally, we shared clothes. There was never a distinction in our household." For Stixx, the discovery was less about rebellion and more about practicality. "I'm on the slimmer side, so the fit and feel was just better. Women's jeans fit me in a smarter way, especially with the shoes I wear." Mathews wears women's jeans often and confidently. "I always tell my men friends to try them—and every single one ends up loving them. It becomes our little 'dirty secret.'"

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